I am in a weird situation. For the first time in literally years, my depression has subsided. I have put off writing about it because I keep expecting it to come roaring back. It has been almost a year.
I can feel it sometimes—like the dementors in Harry Potter—swirling around me waiting for an opening. But I have been able to hold it off. And I don’t know why.
Even my fear and anxiety have taken on a new feeling. Instead of doom and despair, I feel hope. Now that I think of it, fear has disappeared too. Anxiety is still hanging around, but it has taken on a new role of anticipation and excitement.
I will not take this new situation lightly. I will embrace it and try not to feel overwhelmed by it. My brain is open to new experiences and I become overstimulated easily. But it is all good. I have broken out the coloring books again, and it helps a lot to create in a different manner. Gardening, and other outdoor activities, are right around the corner.
I have been there. I have experienced the excruciating pain in my soul that depression brings. I have been brought to my knees. I have been disappointed to wake-up alive in the morning.
But there is hope. I am living proof. Never, ever, did I think I would get to this point. So, hang in there. We can get through anything together. Keep talking. Keep reaching out.
Hugs.